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Category Archives: Fear

I’m Sorry It’s Cancer… Intimacy – Sex and Prostate Cancer

medical doctor  photoI don’t think I’ll ever forget the afternoon when the doctor said those four word, “I’m Sorry It’s Cancer.”

What I didn’t know at the time was how those four small words would change how I would end up viewing intimacy and sexuality.

For many men and couples the impact of prostate cancer can be devastating on a relationship. While it may begin with the cancer it’s self, and move to treatments and the after effects of those treatments. Each stage presenting it’s own challenge in an intimate relationship.

For a lot of couples the hardest part of prostate cancer is leaning to bring passion, sensuality and just plain fun back into their intimate relationship.

Many men find that the after effects of prostate cancer may leave them not being able to function sexually as they could prior to cancer treatment.

Here are 3 simple tips that can help any couple confronted with prostate cancer to reignite the fire and passion of intimacy.   

1. “Prostate Cancer Is Not Your Life!” Let that sink in for a while. All prostate cancer and it’s treatments are, is only a “Life Experience.”
What this really means is do not let prostate cancer define your life or who you are. It doesn’t mean that you pretend that it doesn’t exist, just don’t let it become who you are. You have always been and will always be more than your experience with prostate cancer.

2. Speak to any fears you have about your sexuality and prostate cancer. Now this isn’t just for men. Women have just as many fears concerning how the relationship will be affected by prostate cancer.

You can’t fan the flame if you’re holding on to things that douse the fire. All of us who are dealing with prostate cancer in our relationship, both men and women alike, have fears around how this disease will impact our intimacy and sexually. The only way to overcome and move past our fears is to openly share them with our partner.     

3. Become a sexual explorer and adventurer. If ever there was a time to be an explorer and adventurer, it’s when a couple is confronted with prostate cancer.

All it takes is a willingness and commitment to stretch your self-imposed limits and boundaries. Is it easy to do…has dealing with prostate cancer been easy?

What I can tell you is, if you have the courage to deal with prostate cancer in your relationship, you have the strength to bring the passion back into your relationship.     

If you and your partner are dealing with prostate cancer and seeking ways to bring the passion back into your relationship I would suggest getting a copy of “Recaptured Love: Intimacy-Sex and Prostate Cancer.” You can find it on this site in the book section.

For any couple, the impact that prostate cancer can have on your relationship could be devastating, but it doesn’t have to result in destroying the intimate and sexual relationship you have built through your time together.

About Kevin Alexzander

Kevin Alexzander

Kevin is an Intimacy-Sex and Prostate Cancer expert. He is also an Intimacy with Prostate Cancer™ Coach and Speaker. In addition to his achievements in business, Kevin has trained and taught martial arts and self-defense for 30+ years. He is a former: Aide to a US Senator; Director of the Detroit Minority Business Development Center; Regional Director of the Michigan Small Business Development Center and Community Builder of the US Dept. of Housing and Urban Development. Kevin lives in SE Michigan with his cat Mr. Tibbs.


I love words. The word for today is:

fantasticate |fanˈtastiˌkāt|

verb [ with obj. ] rare 

make (something) seem fanciful or fantastic: I do not think I have fantasticated these accounts.

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